Off the rails

A measure, perhaps, of my dislocation that for an instance, an aberration of McEwan, I saw you upended. Buried, head first and up to your waist. But in my mind – and there was no saying as to the health and strength of that! – you’d not arrived there violently, but had ...

... no you could not have done, not achieved the age denoted by the sag and wrinkle of your buttocks, without suffering in one way or another.

But at least, I reassured myself, our love had endured, hadn’t it? No loss of trust –

– only to be immediately proved a liar for, beyond you, in this bizarre mental journey through my past, and just as unkindly displayed, was ... I can’t, even now, say his name, not with you so close.

So was I to end my journey here? Between the two of you? If so, which way should I face? Ah, but ... it wouldn’t be my face, would it? Which made it easy.
Because he always took me from behind.

[Canvas prompt: a photograph by Josh Box from House of Writers]

Morning has broken

When I was sure it was over  – I’d waited until a paler square of light drifted into shape on the wall opposite the bed, and the candle-flame had faded to ghost – I fetched a jug of water from the kitchen. Tepid for my sake. You no longer likely to flinch from cold, hard though it was to convince myself.

I’d known to place a folded towel beneath you to soak the ochre stains of shit and piss and leave the cotton sheet unmarked.  Unlike the frayed-edge strips wound herringbone around your ribs on which was mapped a rusting archipelago – a continent – afloat amidst the still-scarlet matted waves of your chest.

Cutting, peeling bandages away, I flinched on your behalf. Made amends by the tenderness with which I washed your skin to pale. Pale as the parchment on which you’d writ the words to summon me.  Words writ in ink black as the cloak I wrapped me in. Before I went to tell your wife.

[Originally posted to House of Writers, for Canvas prompt 150]