Not of time but of perception

March was the month my status changed forever.
Although I’d done absolutely nothing to cause such an alteration, I found myself suddenly aged.
Regular exercise, eating healthily – five a day fruit, four a week gym – made not a jot of difference.
Cheese and wine six times a week (and occasionally chocolate) while not ideal, were not responsible either.
Henceforth, whether I was caught shoplifting, knocked down by a rampaging elephant, or climbed Everest stark naked things would be different. From the day that phone call came – the 3rd - whatever I did, however well I did it, I would inevitably be described as “Grandmother.”